Who's got my back?

Caroline raised an interesting point on Twitter today. If you consider yourself a supporter of a minority group, how exactly would you define yourself?

Ally? Sympathiser? Supporter?

It’s a minefield for anyone sympathetic to the experiences of any minority group but not actually belonging to it.

See, I am not big on ‘sympathiser’. You give sympathy to people who’ve had an accident, bereavement or some other kind of tragedy befall them and quite frankly the fact that I use a wheelchair is not a tragedy to me. A pain in the arse sometimes? Definitely. A tragedy? No.

According to my dictionary, an ally is someone who shares your experience. Even other disabled people do not share the same experience so that one is a bit of a misnomer. One thing that really grates on a member of a minority group is someone outside of it who ‘feels your pain’, or even worse gets offended on your behalf in the mistaken belief that they are doing you a favour.

So I go for ‘supporter’. And I’m blessed to have a lot of them. To me a supporter is someone who acknowledges that they cannot speak about your experience for you but supports your right to access education/healthcare/public services and will support you when you have to fight because you are denied these things simply because you are disabled/trans-gender/sex worker/black or whatever minority you belong to.

When you are a supporter, you do not take away the agency of the person you support, rather you enhance it. Supporters do not say ‘now you just sit there and be quiet while I tell you which choices you need to make and what is good for you. I learned all about you people at college!’

Well, now we know what a supporter does not do, let’s talk about with they DO:

1) ASK the person if they actually want your support! A lot of people who make lifestyle choices that you wouldn’t are doing just fine. Sometimes people don’t want a cure, and they don’t want to be ‘saved’ from sex work – what they need is for you to take care of stuff that can affect real, lasting change. For example, writing letters supporting legislation that allows them to lead the life they’ve already got more safely and easily. Not only does that show you respect them for the intelligent, autonomous individuals they are but it also leaves you free to give time to people who DO want and need more hands-on support to change their lives in more drastic ways.

2) Once we have ascertained that yes, person 'A' would like a supporter thank you, ask them what they need – don’t presume! For example, I have Spina Bifida but it's a condition that varies wildly in severity so the support I want/need is very different to the support another person with SB might need. Never forget that these people are still individual human beings who happen to share a common ‘thread’.

3) People change. Be prepared to change with them. I have been through a million different mindsets with regard to my status as a disabled person, ranging from ‘crip pride’ to outright denial and everything in between. I’ve seen slights where none existed and accepted things that I really had every right to ‘go postal’ about. If the person you support has a reaction to something seemingly innocuous, don’t shame them. ASK why they had that response and then LISTEN. Don’t make the fact that you don’t understand their fault. Once the person has talked about their feelings they may come up against that same situation in the future and handle it differently, thanks to the new mindset that being able to express themselves to you without fear of judgement gave them.

5) Don’t try to ‘belong’. Don’t use that groups’ slang or try to ‘relate’ and for god’s sake DON’T try to pretend you have likes and dislikes that aren’t really YOU. This won’t make you any friends whatsoever (and it’ll probably get you mercilessly ridiculed. I’m laughing as I write this because I am remembering what I did to all the unfortunate sods that made this fatal mistake whilst in my presence). If you wouldn’t date a disabled person, it’s OKAY. You can still sign petitions and come on marches with me. I’m not going to beat you to death with my foot-plates for being some kind of ‘traitor to the cause’.

6) Be a bridge. We’ve ascertained that you are able-bodied and I am disabled. This might just be a ‘me thing’ but I think the best thing a supporter can be is a bridge between the minority person and the rest of the community.

For example, I might want attitudes to change more radically in a faster time than is reasonable to expect. You as the able bodied person are perfectly within your rights to explain why that isn’t going to happen and what we can do in the meantime to get to that point.

Also remember that being a member of a minority group does not make me immune to saying and doing stupid things that might get up the very noses of the people I need co-operation from! This is where you get to tell me how my words or deeds as a member of a minority might be received by the rest of the community and not do me any favours!!
Please just remember while you’re doing this that the person you support is probably very anxious and distressed about the treatment they’ve received thus far so find that balance between gentleness and honesty.

Interestingly, because I personally see myself as being able-bodied person who ‘wears’ a wheelchair like a pair of shoes or spectacles, rather than being ‘disabled’ I have often pointed out scenarios when disabled people have done themselves no favours whatsoever in terms of good relations with the AB community and earned myself a sound verbal kicking!!

I’m sure there are lots of other things I haven’t covered, but as usual I am seeing this as more of a conversation-starter than the ‘last word’ on anything so I look forward to your comments from here.

Belle Revealed....

So, yesterday morning I accidentally glanced at a tabloid (I try not to as they offend my eyes and my brain so intensely) to find that the true identity of 'Belle De Jour', the author of the blog 'Diary of a Call Girl' has been revealed.

I'm sorry that she was pressured by the possible actions of an ex to 'come out', and I'm even more sorry that we're almost a decade into the 21st century and STILL sex work carries the most ridiculous stigma. I look forward to the day when telling people you are a sex worker elicits the same reaction as if you'd told them you were a teacher or a plumber. I can dream, can't I?

For now I admire her refusal to be 'slut shamed' or to apologise for her past. THAT to me is a feminist heroine.

Read More HERE and HERE

'The Wild Hunt'

Today was very good indeed. My latest art work was assessed and well received.

The format was changed a little from our usual assessments in that we usually do a presentation then it's open to questions, but this time we had to stay silent while our classmates assessed our work, then we gave the presentation. I really found this a valuable and very efficient way to learn about your own practice and other people's.

This is my piece, called 'The Wild Hunt' :





Here's a little bit of my presentation explaining the concept behind the work:

Concept:

‘The Wild Hunt’ is a folk tale told in many parts of Europe in Various versions and is a story well known to many Pagans, whatever individual path they follow.

I chose this subject because I have been a Pagan for most of my Adult life and I know these stories and traditions very well. This artist book aims to introduce my path to the viewer through one story of many.

On the front of the box, we see a Stag skull representing Herne, also known as Cernunnos, the God of animals and the wild hunt nestled in a bed of Oak leaves, representing the Oak Tree from which Cernunnos made other animals, according to the Celtic Creation Myth. Inside the box we have Eostre, the goddess of Fertility in the form of a White Hare. She only takes this form at the Full Moon. She is looking up to the Moon, possibly able to hear ‘The Wild Hunt’ as it parades across the sky? The Hunt is always heard but seldom seen.

Materials:

Wooden Box

FIMO and ‘Sculpey’ Polymer Clays in various colours

Acrylic Paint

‘Flower Soft’

Meddler Tree twig.

Inside the scrolls we have the story of 'The Wild Hunt', information about Cernunnos and the goddess Eostre.

I was really happy with how it all turned out and the fact that my tutor is really excited about the new direction I'm going in so I'll be producing artist books for my end of year exhibition.

I am a Mole and I live in a hole....

Yesterday we went to Westonbirt Arboretum, a lovely tree collection in the county of Gloucester, England.

The ‘car park’ was really a glorified field and everywhere you looked there were these large patches of flattened-out soil. This could only mean one thing - Molehills.

Well, I had always joked to my parents that I’d like to sit over a mole hill, wait ‘til the little critter made an appearance then go ‘BOO!’ just to see what the reaction was (yeah, juvenile but that’s just how my sense of humour is sometimes). Never in a million years did I actually expect to get the opportunity to do it! **

We walked the first half of the Arboretum and then went back to the car for lunch. I was sitting eating my sandwiches when out of the corner of my eye, one of the aforementioned patches of dirt started to move…

OK, I’m gonna give you a spoiler, the mole realised that it was still daylight and the place was heaving with people and dogs so he never did pop his nose out, but I – being the nerd that I am – sat there for a good 45 minutes just watching this mole do its thing, camera in hand (I had the camera, not the mole – now that really would have been something to see! Haha). Obviously I wouldn’t make you sit here for 45 minutes to watch a small mammal renovate its home so I speeded it up a little. The mound of earth actually got quite a bit bigger than this but the video is a bit shaky as my arm started to ache so you just have the first segment here:

I am a mole and I live in a hole.... from Gaina on Vimeo.

Quite a few people stopped to see what the hell I was up to but I was surprised and more than a little saddened at the number of parents who wouldn’t let their kids stop a while and watch this little wonder of nature unfolding. This is exactly the type of thing kids should be encouraged to witness to make them care about our environment, I think.
Anyway, the light started going and we had to leave so I reluctantly turned off my camera and we carefully drove away, Dad inching around the hill so as not to undo all of the little dude’s hard work.
This planet never ceases to amaze me.



** Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I would never harm, harass or otherwise disconcert any of my fellow creatures AND NEITHER MUST YOU!

Just when I thought I had it all figured out.....

I was all fixed on my idea for my final exhibition in June, when Sophie (my tutor) introduced us to 'Artist Books' and gave us an assignment to make one by November 12th.

I've spent the last three days going 'oooh!' and 'aaah!' over these ruddy things (which can either be a literal book or a combination of things tied up in one cute little package). Some of them are so gorgeous, I may end up scrapping my first plan and making these.

I'm just glad I've got until January to play with ideas!

Say hello to my Potty-Mouth Twin.

Angry Robot is awesome and I love her....but I gotta tell you, if you thought my language was colourful? Y'aint see nothin' yet. LOL

Sit back and enjoy.

I can haz tumblr??

Yes! Yes I can! MacDuff